Dose

Baby bird, intricate architecture and front yard fountains, cat hair seats, little European cars...things you see in the morning when you're not wear shoes.

I woke up hungover to my "Burritos" alarm. The screen read "Must move car begotr 9", and shady fragments of last nights parking job, 7 blocks down the street, blossomed elusively in my mind. I rolled my sorry ass out of bed, glad to be still fully dressed in last night clothing, but not so glad the only shoes I had were last nights little blue heels. I grabbed my heels and earrings and stumbled, fumbled, crumbled out the door. The 8:30 a.m. sky was bright white-grey like a broken t.v. and the air was chill but not sharp. I passed a tall, dark house, wooden shambles on a green hill, with a black fountain bubbling in front. A matte old Cadillac parked in front showed seats covered in light cat hair, like fur. I passed a fading white picnic table under an over grown apple tree with a baby robin chirping and springing below the twisted limbs. I turned the corner and the ocean opened up in the bay before me, below me, ahead of me. The warfs and docks crept from the mass of land at the bottom of the Hill. I strode in settling comfort, despite the knots in my stomach and pounding in my head, as my bare feet pounded the asphalt. I got down to Lighthouse Ave., turning towards Segovia where I left my blue boat of a Volvo. The spaces in front of Segovia's were all empty, my stomach dropped and my heart raced. I slouched into a brown stool in front of the laundromat searching for the local parking tow number. No signs offered telephone numbers and my phone battery was quickly dropping. I speed texted Christin, who's house I had just walked down from, "My fucking car is gone," shitting bricks in front of the laundromat. She was sleeping when I left, so I expected nothing, a cab ride home and tow truck debt. As I let myself fear the worst, my screen lit up with a text from Chistine reading, "It's parked in front of my house, where are you?" I laughed aloud, ecstatic with my drunken forgetfulness and responsible decision to let her drive my car home.

Beautiful barefoot start to an endless hangover of a day...

Hello Goodbye

I hate goodbyes. With an unending, sob-filled passion. What is the best kind of good bye? A well planned and acknowledged one? A hasty, surprising one? One that creeps up on you? I'd prefer hello. Just said goodbye to my mama, visiting from Hawaii. Harsh, unexpected, sad. What kind of goodbye's get you? Input? 

What's Karma?

    Yesterday started out as a beautiful day. It was unbelievably sunny and warm and I was lucky enough to depart on an 8 am, couple hour road trip for my boy's work. I decided to try to make it to Santa Cruz with my cousin and her boyfriend while my boy worked a few hours, only an hour away. Sun, ocean and a drink was the idea that blossomed in my beautiful cousin's mind.

    She is the most passionate person I have ever met. What she loves, she loves with all her heart, what she hates, she despises unforgivingly...a love for intoxication and a loathing for authority. She's petite and pale, a violent little pixie who pledges her love to friends and sister's often and wholeheartedly. Her unending passion for all the things she's loves was always one of my favorite things about her, but when that passion locks onto intoxication and being crazy things start to come into focus. She's a drama queen. A bleach blond, blue eyed drama queen with a passion for being fucked up.

    A glass of wine or a beer at the beach is one thing. A cocktail or a handle of tequila is something else entirely. Hateful slurs, blurred vision and not remembering who you're with or where you are are the symptoms of Black Out Status. You're a walking zombie and most of us who have been through sophmore year in college are quite familiar with the walking, talking dark curtain that falls over you after lots and lots of liquor. Cinco de mayo, 21st birthdays, and weddings are often (with embarrassment) Black Out Status event's, but a few hours at the beach is not quite so worthy.

    I went home early because my boy had to close shop a couple hours south at the actual headquarters of his work and pretty much only made it to the beach parking lot with my carpool. I was the loyal shotgun co-pilot and coming from an island, this new ability to drive for more than two hours in one direction without driving off a cliff or into the ocean was thrilling. I loved the wind filling the car and throwing the music around inside the automobile and I loved watching the stretching landscapes change and blur from rolling yellow hills to black and green pines and firs. Glass mirror ponds and sharp, jagged peaks of turquoise waves as we near the coast are candy for my eyes. The sun was still blaring, cascading rays kissing at my shoulder blades and licking at my rosy cheeks and though it had been kind of a hectic morning, connecting with each other and getting to the destination and back, stress-free, are always a little difficult, but as we sped home on the wide open CA-1 my heart was light, my hair was blowing and my lips were smiling.

    When you're really fucked up, when you've reached Black Out Status, you walk into restaurants without your clothes on. You swear at waiters, dance before the single classical guitarist sitting amongst the tables, you run into bars and kiss girls in bikini's that you've never met, you ask your friends to make out with you in front of your boyfriend, you dig holes in the sand to throw up in...get the gist? People generally don't want to be associated with you and you actually run away so they actually have to chase you. I'm sure everyone has dealt with babysitting the drunk roommate or drunk friend but Black Out Status is a whole different level of intoxication. It's the kind that leads to the Emergency room at 10 o'clock at night with blood tests and mother's asking "What did you take?"

It's not okay and it's not working.

I don't know about karma, but you're on a strict payment plan.

I Heart Creepy

I think it's our generation. We're all creeps or in love with creeps  which is what has given us such a dark and flavorful muddy pop culture. Gaga, Boost Mobile commercials and weird public are just a few of the things in society that have really been creeping me out.

And you know what?

Creepy, I think I love you...

xxxo

Drink Me

Let's Go Sailing-With Rum and Chai

My all time favorite pre-game, party and afterparty beverage.

2 parts oregon chai

1 part sailor jerry's spiced rum

1 park skim milk

Pour over ice in your favorite drank glass and mm-mm-mmmm, sailing away...

Two Lessons

One

Soulmates~

It's not the person you're meant to be with forever or maybe even at all. It's he or she who teaches you something amazing, shows you who you are, or opens you up to something you never could have imagined. They come into your life and change you and then are out again.

Two

Growth~

It's not just for trees and greens. Wanna get happy? Get productive. Personal growth, work completion, lesson learning stimulate feelings of great accomplishment which is one of the most happiness promoting feelings ever! So work, learn, GROW and be happy.

Don't worry.